Ready For Prime Time Baby

It looks like Ayden is ready to move to the next level.

The three of us went to tour his (Pre) Pre-School on Friday. Ayden will start on Feb 1st. I really feel comfortable knowing that he is ready. It's amazing to me that he seems to grasp the concept of school. I feel very confident on his maturity level at this point and should adapt well to the "school" enviroment. As we were touring the school he seemed to be right at home. Ayden has been bugging my wife since we have broke the news to him that he will be starting school in lieu of going to his sitter. As they pass by certain locations Ayden will ask his Mom,

"Is that my school?"

As we toured the school Ayden ran around and acted liked he might have owned the place. He was a bit shy towards the instructors, but regardless he was right at home.
Time has really went by so fast. I feel very excited to have Ayden in a learning enviroment, but at the same time, the time seems to have gotten here a little too quick for my taste. Ayden will be 3 in March and it just doesnt seem like that should be happening this soon.

Another Me?

I get told often that Ayden resembles his father. I have to admit he is a great looking kid, but I always cringe when people remind me how much he looks like his dad. I also have a great overwhelming sense of pride, all at the same time. My looks fall far short of such a comparison, but I am so proud of my son. God sure did bless us with a wonderful child.
So if Ayden resembles me in looks that would have to be where the comparisons stop.. Right? Well not really. He seems to have taken a lot more than looks from his old man. More and more every day Ayden grows into his own personality. A mix of his Mother, myself and of course his own. Ayden has a temper. What 2 1/2 year old child doesn't have some showing of a temper? I try to remind myself of this daily but I see some of his old man's temper showing through from time to time. I have been told that I have somewhat of a temper. It takes certain little things to set me off and I guess the real problem is, no one really knows what those "certain little things" are. I really don't know. When I see Ayden throw his fits I wonder what is toddler and what has been inherited? I have always said that I want Ayden to have everything that I never did. I hope a well manned temperament is one of them.
I want to thank Aydens mother for the inspiration behind this topic.

What Did You Say?

"Daddy, I smell something!"

"What...........?" " What do you smell son?"

"It smells like a skunk in the road!"

Ayden seems to have all the right words at all the wrong times. The above was recently rattled off at the top of Ayden's lungs in a crowded restaurant restroom. After a truly embarrassing second or two, I couldn't help but laugh and smile at the innocent smiling face staring back at me. What an imagination! Where in the world did he come up with that? I must admit that I had heard him say it before, but just not in the correct context. It was quite amusing and quite honest. Ayden seems to be the most honest person in the family nowadays.....no matter the pain involved.

Does my breath stink?
Oh that's right, Ayden already said it did!

Positive or negative, Ayden never lets me down. The honesty never stops. One honest comment after another and it makes you wish that everyone would really be that honest with you. Well sometimes anyway. I understand that honesty is common among his age group due to the pure state of innocence, it's just too bad that we all seem to lose this gift along the way.

The Facts Of Fatherhood

I ran across a very interesting article today regarding the importance of a father in the home. It's a cold view into how far the family has fallen. This disheartening trend seems to gain steam more and more every year.
After reading the list in the article can only wonder what can we do as a society to restore the importance of family?
Why does the trend continue to be passed along from generation to generation?
Where did it all go wrong?
Is it just something that was inevitable with the fast paced society we were bound to become?
Why does it seem that the many problems that we face in our society today can be directly related to the home environment?
As I read through the list in the article I was sicken by the shear numbers. My father was mostly absent throughout my childhood so I know firsthand the importance of having a father around. I could blame a lot of my shortcomings on my Father, but I know that at some point in time we have to be accountable for our own actions and become a free minded adult who must choose their own path. It would have been easier to have my Father around but the choices I have made and the loving support of my Mother truly has made me who I am today. Not all children are as lucky. I hope the world wakes up and realizes just how far off the mark we are and how important a family is to our children.

2006? Are you sure?

Uh.....
Excuse me......
But I just read that it was 2006. Is that right? Wasn't it just 1984 like a couple of years ago? Yeah I remember it well... The Chicago Bears had just won the Super Bowl, Michael Jackson was the best entertainer in the world (and still had the appearance of a human) ,MTV was the most entertaining network on cable, Ronald Reagan was in the White House...Mmm Yeah I remember it well. How in the world can it be 2006? Where has the time gone. Have I missed something?
Why is it that as we get older the time seems to go faster. Wouldn't it make more sense for time to slow down as we age? I guess there are a lot of things that don't make much sense if I was to really set back and think about them.
When I was Ayden's age time seemed endless. The days dragged on and on. Oh, those endless summer days.
Time seemed to speed up drastically when I graduated high school. It seems to have increased in speed every year since. A day is a blink of an eye. A year seems more like a month.
I yearn for those days that lasted forever, but I cant complain with the present and what it has to offer.

Expectations And Looking Forward

As this year draws to a close I am looking forward to 2006. It's the time of year that most people set the expectations really high for themselves. Losing weight, giving up bad habits, the lists of improvements and expectations for ones self are endless. Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves at this time of "rejuvenation"? Why do we get two weeks in to the New Year and seem to lose the steam to carry out the expectations we have set for ourselves. I believe it is due to the pressure we put upon ourselves. Meeting other's expectations can be a daunting task. Meet our own expectations can be nearly impossible.

I am at the point in my life that my own expectations are at an all time high. I want to be the best father, husband, and person that I can possibly be. To always give it my all no matter the circumstances. I have always set the bar pretty high for myself and as I get older and my responsibilities grow, my own expectations follow. Most of my own goals and expectations are never really met. Some are just not possible, some are misguided, and some are just plain forgotten. Everyone's got an excuse, right?

Why do we have to wait for the calendar to turn over to reset the bar of expectations for our lives? Why can't we really look at ourselves daily and try to improve from the day before? I believe it is just too painful to really look at where we are in life, no matter the amount of success we have achieved and happiness we have experienced. Would this fall in into the category of true appreciation?

Everyone always wants more, always believing that life has more to offer than what we have experienced. I believe the roots of motivation grow when we are examining our lives in the rawest form. Tearing away our false armor of comfort we live in and looking deep inside the soul exposing the weaknesses and darkness we all have and experience. Pulling these items to the surface and examining why they exist can be a life changing experience, but I believe most of us fail due to the pain and effort it takes to truly do so.

Ayden will be 3 years old in March. It is unbelievable how fast time has passed. I look at how my life has changed since his birth. Life has taken a whole new meaning than before his arrival. My life now consists of insuring his happiness and safety first and foremost above anything else. As I think about the New Year, Ayden top's the list. How can I improve as a father, and a husband to his Mother? How can I insure that no matter what happens that he will be safe and taken care of?

I hope to improve in many ways in 2006. I look to start a new career that may improve Ayden's life in the long run, but may sacrifice the time we spend together that is so very important. It's a constant struggle to find the perfect balance of responsibilities. I want to examine the places where I have fallen short and improve them. Time will tell where the road of change will lead, but I want Ayden to know that I want to do the best for him.

Getting It Right

"Daddy, Daddy, Let's go play!"
It rings in Daddy's ears everyday.

"Oh Daddy,Daddy, Can we play?"
"Son, Daddy's tired and had a hard day."

"Daddy, Daddy, PLEASE LET'S PLAY!
"Please Son,"...... "Daddy just needs a little time away."

"Daddy, Daddy, Please.. Please.. won't you play!"
"Go ask Mommy, What did she say?"

"But Daddy,Daddy, I want YOU to play!"
"Please Son...Don't look at me that way."

"C'mon Daddy....Are you going to play?"
"O.K. Son...Let's go have some fun today!"

Another Wonderful Christmas

Another Great Christmas is in the can.
How great is it to be a father at Christmas!

About as great as it is to be a child at Christmas. It gets better each year with Ayden. He is at the age now that a new present to open really don't hold much meaning except something cool that he can call his own. I honestly believe that Ayden could be given a wrapped empty box and he would think it was cool just the same. I wish everyone held that child like mentality with gifts. The excitement and thrill just to receive and open something....Anything......

As time goes those gifts hold more and more meaning...Something bigger and better is asked for. The appreciation is lost on anything that doesn't fit the bill.

One thing I hope to give Ayden is the appreciation of everything material or emotional, big or small. This is a rare gift given to me from my Mother. I must admit that I haven't always had the ability to appreciate everything, but as each and every year passes the appreciation grows. I always appreciated things more than I was given credit for, but maybe not as much as I could have. I hope Ayden realizes that true appreciation is a special gift.

I thank God for another great Christmas with friends, family and our special little man who makes it complete.

It's Christmas

Wishing You And Your Loved Ones A Very Merry Christmas 2005.

Hangin With Family

Ayden spending time on Thanksgiving with his cousins.

Ayden, Chloe and Dalen on the far right, are all very close in age and always seem to have a great time playing together.

As with his Mother and I, Ayden has a lot to be thankful for and our family would have to be the biggest blessing in our lives. I am always happy to be able to spend time with family on the holidays since we all live pretty close to each other. It's depressing how little time families get to spend together. Many families don't have the luxury of a short drive to share time with their loved ones and the really depressing thought are the ones that do have the luxury but fail to take advantage of it.

I want to make sure Ayden always has the oppurtunity to be around family as much as possible. I believe it will become a foundation for him as he grows into adulthood.

It will be interesting to see Ayden grow up around his cousins since they are close in age and possibily will get to attend the same schools together. I can only imagine the mischief they will find themselves in through the years. I always had a great time with a cousin of mine when I got to see her. We found ourselves in quite a bit of trouble a lot of the time.

But that's another story all together......

Does Anyone Own This Manual?

Ok, I admit it. I have a problem.
It's more of a compulsion.

I am in fact a book junkie. Fiction, non-fiction, any topic under the sun, I'm not biased. I love books and have every since I can remember. I never can have enough around me at any given time. Whether they are bought new, used, or loaned out from the library. If you were to look around our house you would likely find a book mark in any given 3 books you might pick up. Don't mistake this for not finishing a book; in fact I finish every book I start at some point in time. Some last longer than others, but they are always completed at some point. In fact it just means that I can't stick to just one book at a time. My wife has let it be known that if I continue to buy books at the current rate we are going to have to add a library branch on to the house . She likes to remind me from time to time that the "Southeast Branch" has reached capacity and needs to be reduced in that area of the house.

Over time I have spent a lot of money on books. I am always keeping an eye open for a sale at the local Barnes And Noble or Borders. The local library even knows me by name the moment I pass thru the door. I have been a very regular contributor to the library fund thanks to the overdue ones that I just can't take back because it's much too painful to let a good book go.

The fact is, out of all of the searching and buying that I do, I cannot find the one that I really want. The one that eludes me no matter how hard and long I search. I have been to every corner of the Net, every new and used book store in town, and the "Perfect Book" cannot be found. I really am starting to believe that this "Perfect Book" doesn't exist. I have heard rumors that a few select families own it and pass it along from generation to generation. I am really starting to think that the "Perfect Book" is just an Urban Legend and no such book exists except in a few father's heads that are in search of it.

The "Perfect" book is in fact a manual. A "How-To" manual of sorts......It's title?
"How To Be A Great Father"- author unknown.

I wish I could only get my hands on the manual for a few minutes. Oh what a read that would be. The pages of the manual would have to be fire retardant from the rate of speed of which the pages would turn in my hands. It's safe to say that you would have to pry it out of my cold dead hands. This indeed would be the "Perfect Book"!

I consider myself to be an adequate father. But who wants to just be adequate? No NFL team has ever won the Super Bowl by just being adequate. Michael Jordan was never referenced as an adequate basketball player. No, he was always adorned as being Great!

I want to be GREAT!
Is it even possible? Is there any such thing as a great father? I unfortunately don't have much of an example that I can use to make such an assessment. Notice that I don't write that I want to be perfect. I know that is an impossible task, I just want to be GREAT! I want to be the kind of father that Ayden will brag about to his friends. To be the father that never misses a ball game or a school play. Truth is, I want to be the kind of father that I always was in search of, and more.

I realize that being a great father is not for wimps. It will take a lot of hard work. In raising a child, no two days are the same. The most unfortunate thing is knowing how to do it. Where do I learn such a task? Does this manual really exist? Did the hospital forget to let me have it when we brought Ayden home? Is the library hiding it from me because they know that I wouldn't ever return it? Is there some kind of mass conspiracy in keeping the book a secret? Does the book belong to some secret society that has sworn to never share it's wonderful contents?
Let it be known that I am fantastic at keeping secrets.

So please..Does anyone out there own this manual?

Welcome To Ayden's World

Ayden's World is a glimpse into the wonderful world of Ayden through the eyes of his father. I hope you enjoy.