February 28, 2007

Winds Of Change

The winds of change are blowing hard in our household. Ayden's mother has filed for divorce. After 8 years of marriage she wants out. I really have got no explanation or real reason but that she is not happy with me in her life.

Now how do we deal with these winds of change?

Ayden has already witnessed more then I would ever want him to with his mother and I arguing with each other. The last few weeks have been rough, I have been begging like a fool to work this out. I wanted to save this marriage if it was the last thing I done. I wanted us to try and work together to get to the bottom of the problem. I wanted to seek professional help to no avail. Her mind is made up and now we have to deal with it.

It kills me more everyday knowing the effects this is going to have on Ayden. I never wanted this for him. I never want to hurt him. He is all I have now and I have to do what I can to salvage at least a friendly relationship with his mother to protect him.

I am only going to have Ayden for every other weekend and one night a week. I cant stand the thought of it. To fight it would cause Ayden more harm then good.

His mother wins this battle. I can only hope there is Karma left in the world and it comes back around to his mother for what she is doing to this family.

Ayden is my universe. Ayden is what gives me purpose. Ayden, Son I love you.

February 19, 2007

Forgiveness

Son,
Please make sure you learn to forgive. Make an effort to always see all sides of a dispute and keep your heart open to forgiveness. People are going to wrong you. Circumstances are going to arise that will leave you at crossroads on whether a person deserves forgiveness. Just remember when you come to that crossroad that you have needed and will continue to need forgiveness for your own actions. You are not above forgiveness. Why should anyone else be?

If you can not learn to forgive you will grow a bitter heart. Your anger will destroy you. I have walked in anger for many years only to see it nearly destroy me. My anger has caused great pain to myself and more importantly to those that I love the most. The first step in curing your anger will be forgiveness. Forgive those that wrong you. Forgive those that may not deserve it.

Keep your eyes open , your heart free and learn to forgive son.It's a must.

I Love You,
Dad

February 14, 2007

A Lesson In Faith

Son,

At some point in your life and possibly more than once you are going to have to learn to let go of something that you don't want to. Something you cherish, something that you might even love. You need to remember that golden rule. "If you love something set if free, if it comes back it's yours. If it does not, it never was." This may disappoint you and may even break your heart. It could have you thinking that the end of the world might be near, especially if it happens to be lost love. Just remember that you need to have faith in what you are doing and know that it might be for the best. It might be hard to swallow, but all things must happen for a reason. You have to always have faith in your decisions based on this golden rule of "Purpose". You may not understand why you must hurt so bad at the time and you may never know why you were ever hurt, but have faith Son. You will survive. Do the right things that you know in your heart are right. Walk the fine line with courage and confidence. Know that you cant control others but you can control your attitude in how you handle whatever disappoint they have in store for you. "That what doesn't kill you, will only make you stronger. " Have faith son, and never lose it.

I Love You,
Your Father