March 21, 2007

Time Machine Anyone?

Have you ever wanted to go back in time? I am sure everyone at some point has dreamed of going back in time and changing a few things they might have wish they had done different.

Well with my life in a state of turmoil lately I find myself dreaming of a time machine. I wouldn't really want to change anything exactly, but just have a chance to re-live some great times in my life.

OK...OK.. I'm lying.
I would change a few things, but just a few........
I would always, I repeat ALWAYS treat the ones I love the most with love and respect.
I would not take all my time trying to fix myself, but enjoy the company of the one's I love.
I would tell my wife everyday just how much she means to me and show it to her everyday.
I would.....well I guess I should stop.

The facts are that I would change a lot of things. No ones perfect but I live with the idea that I have really done a lot of things that I regret and things that have lead to my current situation that I was too blind to see. Now I am left only wishing I could go back and change them. I cant go back, so I will never know if it would have made a difference. I just wish I could try it and see.

March 20, 2007

That's My Boy!

This is Ayden showing his sense of humor.

March 01, 2007

Coping With The Pain

Well due to my wife's decision regarding our marriage I will be forced to become a part time father. Ayden is my whole world. All that I have ever wanted in life was to be a good father and to be there for my children no matter what. I am going to be here for Ayden but it now will be regulated to every other weekend. It takes two to make a marriage and one half of mine has decided that her life will be better without me and now I have to deal with it. It's hard to not be angry for my pain. It's hard to think that I have been forced this new role and I have no say. It's not getting easier with time like I thought it would. It gets harder everyday knowing my time is growing shorter with my son. I hope that he knows that I have given it my all and that I will always be here for him. I love you son.