May 08, 2009

He said, She said.....

It's no secret that I am a bit partial when it comes to my son. Parents right. So it would come as no shock for me to think that Ayden is very intelligent for his age and has an imagination worthy of a best selling fiction writer. Ayden is right brain dominate and that is just one of many things he and I share. Studies show that most kids start right brain dominate and as they age the left brain usage increases. I think at times I am so far right that the left becomes the center. Thank goodness it is just the brain. If I was anything else that far "right" I would ask for someone to put me away.

So what's wrong with any of this? Nothing. Lately though I believe his strong right brain dominance creates a active imagination that is causing issues between his Mother and I. Nothing wrong with an imagination. I believe the world would be a better place it everyone had a stronger more active imagination. It seems that Ayden has been "filling in the gaps" at times when it comes to mine and his Mother's actions and words. Ayden is six years old and has already faced some things in his life that has come a bit early for him. Divorce, separate homes, and all that comes with those challenges has in my belief been put on him at a challenging time of his growth. He as adapted as well as any six year could possibly do, but as to be expected regardless of age a few speed bumps are experienced.

The challenge I face is how to approach trying to help Ayden with the facts. There have been a few conversations he and I have had regarding various issues. When a similar topic is discussed with his Mother he tends to bend it a bit. Not all the time. Possibly not anymore then any 6 year old would do. But given our situation of a broken home, two or three misunderstandings and they can turn into a large problem. I only know my side. I can only speculate the other. With me knowing exactly what a conversation between us has been about and what has been discussed his Mother has to make a decision whether what I said was fact or it's Ayden filling in the gaps. It's caused a few heated arguments from both sides. Whatever we can do to prevent another battle between the North and South, is a preference. Just in case you might wonder who is who, I'm the North. No the South will not rise again.

Seriously though Ayden will not always get it right. He is just six. I just want to do what I can to help him realize the importance of doing his best to get it as close as possible. If he is going to tell his Mother something about our conversations it's important that he does the best he can. The same if he chooses to tell me about theirs. A common mutual respect between his Mother and I plays a large role as well. That also is a work in progress. Two years into the current situation and it's strange how much a person forgets what the other is really like. I have been questioned about things that shouldn't have been a question. Completely not who I am or what I am about. Ayden came with the facts as he thought he knew them, but unfortunately not shedding me in the best light with his Mother. Likewise he has told me a few things about his Mother that I had to think long and hard about if they were on the mark. Most of the things was just Ayden filling in the gaps and I regretted asking his Mother about them, after knowing the facts.

A challenge is ahead of us. I don't want to have to spend the next twelve years trying to explain or be explained to. Ayden shouldn't have to worry about anything. I dont want to put this at his feet. This is not his problem, his fault. It's just the position he has been put in. It's a awkward position for him to have to be in, but as with all things Ayden, he will not let me down!

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