Expectations And Looking Forward

As this year draws to a close I am looking forward to 2006. It's the time of year that most people set the expectations really high for themselves. Losing weight, giving up bad habits, the lists of improvements and expectations for ones self are endless. Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves at this time of "rejuvenation"? Why do we get two weeks in to the New Year and seem to lose the steam to carry out the expectations we have set for ourselves. I believe it is due to the pressure we put upon ourselves. Meeting other's expectations can be a daunting task. Meet our own expectations can be nearly impossible.

I am at the point in my life that my own expectations are at an all time high. I want to be the best father, husband, and person that I can possibly be. To always give it my all no matter the circumstances. I have always set the bar pretty high for myself and as I get older and my responsibilities grow, my own expectations follow. Most of my own goals and expectations are never really met. Some are just not possible, some are misguided, and some are just plain forgotten. Everyone's got an excuse, right?

Why do we have to wait for the calendar to turn over to reset the bar of expectations for our lives? Why can't we really look at ourselves daily and try to improve from the day before? I believe it is just too painful to really look at where we are in life, no matter the amount of success we have achieved and happiness we have experienced. Would this fall in into the category of true appreciation?

Everyone always wants more, always believing that life has more to offer than what we have experienced. I believe the roots of motivation grow when we are examining our lives in the rawest form. Tearing away our false armor of comfort we live in and looking deep inside the soul exposing the weaknesses and darkness we all have and experience. Pulling these items to the surface and examining why they exist can be a life changing experience, but I believe most of us fail due to the pain and effort it takes to truly do so.

Ayden will be 3 years old in March. It is unbelievable how fast time has passed. I look at how my life has changed since his birth. Life has taken a whole new meaning than before his arrival. My life now consists of insuring his happiness and safety first and foremost above anything else. As I think about the New Year, Ayden top's the list. How can I improve as a father, and a husband to his Mother? How can I insure that no matter what happens that he will be safe and taken care of?

I hope to improve in many ways in 2006. I look to start a new career that may improve Ayden's life in the long run, but may sacrifice the time we spend together that is so very important. It's a constant struggle to find the perfect balance of responsibilities. I want to examine the places where I have fallen short and improve them. Time will tell where the road of change will lead, but I want Ayden to know that I want to do the best for him.