MERRY CHRISTMAS!

A Parade!

"Hey Daddy would you want to go to the parade with me?" Ayden asked after his visit to a local festival parade with his mother.

"Sure Ayden, maybe I will go next time."

"Great, there are lots of horses there that poop all over the place and it really stinks and then they walk in it!" Ayden announced proudly.

The smile on his face that followed his great claim was priceless.

Sounds like a blast son......

Hear No Evil, See No...........

Ayden hangin out with his cuz Chloe.

Innocence Anyone?

As the summer comes to an end I find myself thinking how much Ayden has grown over this summer. I just want to stop the clock and enjoy fatherhood for awhile. Ayden is at a very fun age. The innocence will never be at the level I see it in Ayden right now. If it needs to be told, he tells it. If something is amiss, you can bet Ayden will let it be known that it's just not right. I love it.
Why must we lose that part of us? Is it because the world forces us to? Is it because if we were to stay that innocent we would never find the meaning of life or understand it's value? I dont know.... but it's a shame we have to lose it.

A Family Day At The Lake

The little man lookin like a big stud.

Ayden wanted to ride on this sail boat so bad. It took awhile to explain to him that we would have to wait for another day. Another promise........you think he will remember them all?

What Me Worry?

Oh Summertime!

Ribit......Ribit?

"I saw a tree frog climbing the wall and it stuck out it's tongue and said " Hi Ayden how are you?" and I said " Oh Im fine!" and I walked away and the tree frog climbed on up the wall.......He was a nice tree frog....."

This little story was given to the wife and I at the dinner table. The boy sure has an imagination! Three years old and a story more creative then some movies I have seen lately.

Just what are we in store for?

The Home Show

Well we have been in our new home close to a month now and still remain very busy. In fact if you were to walk into our home you might think we were getting ready to film a episode of the home renovation show. A number of ladders standing in various locations plastic sheathing laying of the floor, boxes laying around.....you get the idea. We have been busting our butts to get things completed but with a very active 3 year old son and two full time jobs that my wife and I share it's hard to be quick with much of anything. We decided that we would take our time and do it right. We are painting the full interior and with painting you cant do too much of anything until it's completed unless you want to do it twice. So it's coming along but at a slow pace.
Ayden seems to love his new home and that is such a great feeling knowing that we are finally in our home and he is content. That's truley what it's all about.

The Big Move

We are now in our new home. It was such a long journey to get here. Ayden seems to be adjusting to his new diggs well. He has informed me that I need to get his room painted ASAP. He would like to have Thomas The Tank Engine painted on his walls and Red, Blue, and Green as his primary colors. I hope to be able to talk him out of the rainbow colors, but I still would like to get Thomas painted for him.
Once we started moving in Ayden was pretty upset that the new house didn't come with a fish tank that was in the house when we were looking to buy it. It took awhile to explain to him that we would have to buy one and that the one that was in the house was not ours. I am not sure he fully grasps the idea but he keeps reminding us that we need a fish tank. I have been against the idea of buying one but the more he reminds me how much he wants fish, the more the idea works on me. I am sure a fish tank is in our future.
We have been saving for the time when we were able to get the house we have always wanted, but it's still a little nerve racking with the amount of money we seem to be spending on things we need. I keep telling myself we are alright and are just a little bit outside our comfort level. We will be fine it's just hard to step out sometimes.
The Big move has come and past and now another chapter in our family begins. I am looking forward for the things in store for us.

Happy Mothers Day

Wishing all the Mothers a Happy Mothers Day!

All Systems GO

So far....So Good. Our house buying process seems to be moving along smoothly. What can I say but THANK GOD! After all the stuff we have been through the past few months it's a welcome change. For awhile it seemed like everything was working against us, but as I type this everything is seems to be falling into place.

I have such big plans ahead that the anticipation of getting in our house is killing me. I know my wife and Ayden are getting excited and seem to be ready for the change.

I have noticed lately that we have all been really moody. It seems to have been this way awhile. Maybe the house will bring us all back to the tight 3 we were a few months back.

Ayden has informed us that he wants to paint his room blue. He also wants THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE painted on his walls. It will be a daunting task but I am going to see what I can do to fulfill his wishes. If I have to hire someone, I will. I want Ayden to have the room he wants,however that may be. I think it's going to be hard to say no to him for awhile. He has been through some tough months trying to adjust and he's at the age that it's really hard for him to figure out. I'm not so sure I understand it all.

It should be exciting moving in and getting settled and I cant say that the day will be here too soon. We are 8 days and counting........

Getting Close

We have found a home. We have 18 days and counting. This process has been going for so long we are more than ready.

Ayden seems to like the new house. He hasn't mentioned anything about balls yet but he seems to think that since the current owner owns a dog and it has been there each time we have looked at the house, that the house comes with the dog. We have tried to explain that the dog will be leaving when we move in and that he already has a dog that will keep him company. Ayden still misses Zakk so anytime a dog is brought up, Ayden wants to know when Zakk is coming home. The subject seems to change on my behalf after that.

All three of us are so excited about our new house. I think the house will end up being perfect for us. I am looking forward to having people over and having Ayden in his own backyard to play and horse around with his friends. It should be great!

Time Keeps On Ticking...

Wow it's been awhile since I have been able to post. I hope to be a little more regular from now on.

Our family has been so busy. We are close to closing on our house and have been busting butt to try and find us a place to live. It has been so frustrating....It seems we move a step closer to something and then we move two steps back due to circumstances beyond our control. Our patience is wearing thin.

Ayden usually goes with us when we go look at a house. One house in particular that we visited lately was an older house that had lots of potential. In fact the house was huge and priced reasonably. The only problem is I have never been known as a handy man and the house would need a lot of T.L.C. Well Ayden loved it.

Why?

Was it because it was big enough for him to run around and hide from us?

No.

It was because it had a pool table in the basement that he thought was pretty cool. He now refers to it as "the house with the balls". So every house we have looked at since Ayden has been left wondering where the "balls" are at? I have tried to convince him that maybe someday we might have a table with balls but it might be awhile.

Hunting for a place to live has brought on a lot of stress for all of us. Ayden really doesnt understand the concept. We have been living with in-laws for awhile waiting for our house to sell and it has really taken a toll on all three of us. We all need our space and Ayden needs more consistency than can be achived right now. I am really looking forward to finding a place and getting Ayden settled. Let's hope it's soon.

Goodbye Dear Friend

In Memory Of

ZAKK

5-26-95

3-31-2006

Sorrowfully we have lost a member of our family. It has been a trying last couple of months and the loss could not have come at a worse time. I am deeply saddened from the recent events. Knowing it was coming doesn't soften the blow. I want to share some thoughts with you (the reader) regarding Zakk and what he meant to our family.

Ayden has experienced his first loss and it has been pretty confusing to him. My wife and I really didn't know how to break the news and it probably has made it that much more difficult on him. Ayden never referred to Zakk as his dog. He was often referred to as "Zakky". Since Zakk has left us, Ayden wants to know where "his dog" is. It makes it that much more difficult.

I decided to get Zakk at a real low point in my life. I was living with my Mother and had just started dating my wife. It should have been a happy time, but it actually was a tough time of trying to deal with adult-hood and the direction my life was heading in. Zakk would bring more purpose and responsibility to my life. I had always wanted a dog that I could truly call my own and I had always wanted a boxer. I have always felt that they are beautiful dogs and that their looks seem to express "I could tear your head off if you turn your back" attitude, but trust me, it's all bark no bite. They are known to be loyal, intelligent, and very friendly dogs that love playing and seem to have a real zest for children.

I can still clearly remember the night I went to pick up Zakk. I was so excited. My wife decided to take the trip with me. I had called the owner ( that I had found via a newspaper ad) letting him know I was coming and the estimated time of arrival. When we arrived at the house, it was kind of a run down little house in a rough neighborhood in a small town. I was somewhat nervous about knocking on the door after surveying the house. I thought maybe it was a mistake to get out of the car with the cash. Maybe I would be beat down for the cash knowing that the owner requested cash only as payment. I told my wife to wait in the car even though my gut was telling me to turn the car around and head back home. I knocked at the door and a pretty big guy answered the door very fast as if he was waiting at the door. In his arms he held Zakk. It was instant gratification. Here was this very skinny puppy who looked like he had been starved for days. It didn't matter to me, I was hooked. I asked if I could see the other dogs. The ad had mentioned that there was a litter of six pups. The guy said that Zakk was the only one left and that he was the runt of the litter. I asked to see his mother. The guy yelled out and the mother came running to the door. She was a beautiful dog. She was somewhat overweight, but had a grace and very kind demeanor about her. I knew that this guy was just somewhat down on his luck and that he did take care of his dogs. I was embarrassed that I judged him so harshly. I told him I wanted Zakk. There was never really a second thought about it. Even though he was skinny and looked somewhat unhealthy, he was going to be mine. My Mother expressed her concern about Zakk the second she seen him. She was afraid that the guy had ripped me off and Zakk was doomed to die. After a couple of days of being in Zakk's company she was quickly to regret those first impressions. I still give her grief about it to this day. I knew she meant the best for me and was just trying to protect me, but it'’s still fun to remind her just how wrong she turned out to be.

Zakk was no ordinary boxer or dog for that matter. He had qualities far beyond those of other boxers or any other dog. He was a very intelligent dog that seemed to have feelings and emotions similar to those of a human. No matter what, if possible, he was always at my side. I have memories of many late nights working on the computer while Zakk laid in the floor beside my chair, giving his signature sigh, as if to say " It'’s late, let'’s go to bed already!" Regardless of the situation he would never leave my side.

Zakk would always meet me at the door and was always happy to see me. He seemed to share whatever emotion I might be feeling at any given time. If I was sad or depressed, he seemed to be right there with me sharing in my pain. If I was feeling elated he was right there wagging his tail sharing in my happiness. He never liked it when I raised my voice from being angry. Zakk seemed to always help keep me in check if he was around and I got upset or angry. He seemed to feel any inflection in my voice and always seemed to be able to tap into whatever emotion I was feeling. Similar to children everyone likes to think that their dog or cat is special and gifted. I honestly believe that Zakk was a true one of a kind.

At the time that I first brought Zakk home, I was very busy working a full time job and trying to deal with the new relationship that was forming with the lady that would become my wife. My Mother seemed to take to Zakk as a new son in the house. She felt that special bond with him that I shared. She spent lots of time in helping me train Zakk while I was away. He was really a breeze to train compared to most dogs. He always seemed like an adult dog in the way he took to any new task. Of course we struggled with the puppy that loved to chew things. I remember my wife and me finding a really nice camera in a retail parking lot that someone had lost. Being very late at night and the store being deserted, we took it home very happy with our new discovery. I left it sitting within reach of Zakk and the next day I came home from work to find our newly acquired toy, torn to shreds. I always told my wife he was just reminding us we should have tried harder to find the rightful owner of the camera. Whatever the case, it became a tasty treat for the energy filled puppy! I couldnt stay mad at him. I could never stay mad at Zakk. He always seemed to have me wrapped around his paw and he could do no wrong. There are many stories regarding Zakk, but I will keep them close for now.

I will miss my friend deeply. It has been just a few days since he left us, but it feels like months. I never thought I could ever let myself get that close to an animal, but I did and I don't have any regrets for doing so. We shared in the task of taking care of each other and I feel it was to the best of both of our abilities. Zakk was only part of my life for close to 11 years, but he had an impact on me that will last a lifetime.

I love you my friend and I thank you for always being there for me and always listening to what I had to say. Always willing to protect me and always forgiving me for my shortcomings. You never held a grudge or judged me. You could never be replaced and you will never be forgotten.
Goodbye my friend...until we meet again.

Happy Birthday!

Ayden is 3 years old today.

Happy Birthday little man.

Making Sense Of It All

It has been awhile since I have had a chance to post. I promised myself that I would be posting at the minimum of once a week when I started this adventure. I have really been too busy with life to keep that promise to myself.
Here lately I have been trying to make sense of everything. It seems that life entered another gear and is just really flying by. I was thinking last night after a conversation with my Mother that I have been so busy latley that I really havent had a chance to think about much of anything. Every waking moment is filled with something and I have had no time lately to really reflect on what's going on. I dont feel like I waste any time on anything. I dont get to enjoy fillers like T.V. or the internet or other senseless time fillers to waste my time on. If I am on the internet I am doing reseach for web design or school, if I am watching T.V. or a movie my mind is racing on what I need to be doing. I have put a lot on my shoulders, but I dont want to believe that it's unobtainable. I have goals to reach and I will get them achieved.
Ayden is at the top of that list. Once again he seems to have grown two years in the last two months. He is talking in a more complete manner and he is such a blast to be around. I feel I havent got to really take the time for him I know he deserves latley, but I am going to make sure the trend doesnt continue. Ayden will be 3 years old March 26 and as I look to that time as a celebration, I also ponder if I am doing the things I truly need to be doing to make sure he has a father to be proud of. I am going to have to take the time to make sense of it all.

Introducing.......

A new running partner for Ayden.

Our latest family member.

Cameron Addison Burton

7lbs. 15 oz. 20" long

Born March 1st @ 5:25 pm

Busy Time Ahead

The family seems to be recovering from the sickness that has ravaged our house. I can tell Ayden is feeling better since he is back to his self with commanding order.
"Daddy, take off your shoes...."
"Daddy, eat some food....."
"Daddy,...." well you get my point.
I am entering into a time that will be very busy for me. I continue to remind myself that it's good thing, that most of the things that are going to keep me busy are things that will benefit our family in the long run. The guilt associated with being away still holds some weight, that is sometimes hard to swallow.
Isn't life funny?
We constantly struggle with the balancing act between family, career, and personal goals we set for ourselves. When do we find the time to really enjoy what we accomplish? It's a bit cliche, but Ayden is growing up so fast, I would just like to (pause) the clock for awhile. Just long enough to really take in Ayden at his current age. I guess if any of us had the ability to do such a thing, we wouldn't need clocks. We would command the time, not the other way around.

A Little Under The Weather

Ayden has brought home his first cold from school. I seem to be as sick as he is and as I type this he is lying in bed and we are coughing in unison. The joys of the winter time cold. It's tough to see the little guy sick.

Enough Concern To Go Around

Every parent you or I know likes to brag on their child. It's just a given that if you are a parent regardless of your child's situation, you are a proud one. Your child could have just gotten out of Folsom State Prison and you would be the first to tell everyone that he was a model inmate who was falsely imprisoned. I guess a child is truly a reflection of their parents or a least we all like to believe they are when your kid is doing something worth sharing (or really not worth sharing) with others. Well excuse me, I have some bragging to do.....

Ayden seems so aware of his surroundings at his young age. The famous cliche "my child is so smart for his age" has been used and rehashed more times than necessary, and I hope to not fall into that dreaded parent syndrome. You know the parents that you try to avoid because all they do is talk about how thier kid is Mr./Mrs. Intelligent. Ayden is just really aware of what is going on around him at all times .
He is so concerned about his mother and I and what we are doing at any given time.

"Daddy don't forget your books" is echoed down the hall as I am leaving for work without my needed accessories for the day.

"Daddy don't forget your lunch" can be heard as I am about to walk out the door for a days pay.

I am met with "Daddy there is food on the table for you" as I return home from work.

"Daddy wash your hands" can be counted on as I am leaving the restroom wiping my freshly cleaned hands on my pant leg.

It's nonstop from dusk to dawn. I believe we have a Mr.Concerned on our hands.

I was voted "Most Thoughtful" my Senior year in High School. It was a proud moment. I always thought that my peers just didn't understand me after I received that award. Am I really "Most Thoughtful" or is it that I have always cared about others and wasn't ever afraid to express it?
I may never know? But one thing I am sure of is it seems that Ayden is going to carry the tradition on when I am gone. He is well on his way to being "Most Thoughtful" and he has no idea what that might mean. It never helped his dad out with the ladies, but I guess it is something positive to be able to share with my son.

Yep in our house you can bet there is always enough concern to go around.

Let's Hope It Continues

The first day of school has passed for Ayden and It was a roaring success. He seemed to impress his teachers (he must be the mail mans kid) with his good behavior and charm. I am so very proud of him. His teachers wrote sent a letter home with him letting us know that he done an excellent job. One day down and many more to go.

Ready For Prime Time Baby

It looks like Ayden is ready to move to the next level.

The three of us went to tour his (Pre) Pre-School on Friday. Ayden will start on Feb 1st. I really feel comfortable knowing that he is ready. It's amazing to me that he seems to grasp the concept of school. I feel very confident on his maturity level at this point and should adapt well to the "school" enviroment. As we were touring the school he seemed to be right at home. Ayden has been bugging my wife since we have broke the news to him that he will be starting school in lieu of going to his sitter. As they pass by certain locations Ayden will ask his Mom,

"Is that my school?"

As we toured the school Ayden ran around and acted liked he might have owned the place. He was a bit shy towards the instructors, but regardless he was right at home.
Time has really went by so fast. I feel very excited to have Ayden in a learning enviroment, but at the same time, the time seems to have gotten here a little too quick for my taste. Ayden will be 3 in March and it just doesnt seem like that should be happening this soon.

Another Me?

I get told often that Ayden resembles his father. I have to admit he is a great looking kid, but I always cringe when people remind me how much he looks like his dad. I also have a great overwhelming sense of pride, all at the same time. My looks fall far short of such a comparison, but I am so proud of my son. God sure did bless us with a wonderful child.
So if Ayden resembles me in looks that would have to be where the comparisons stop.. Right? Well not really. He seems to have taken a lot more than looks from his old man. More and more every day Ayden grows into his own personality. A mix of his Mother, myself and of course his own. Ayden has a temper. What 2 1/2 year old child doesn't have some showing of a temper? I try to remind myself of this daily but I see some of his old man's temper showing through from time to time. I have been told that I have somewhat of a temper. It takes certain little things to set me off and I guess the real problem is, no one really knows what those "certain little things" are. I really don't know. When I see Ayden throw his fits I wonder what is toddler and what has been inherited? I have always said that I want Ayden to have everything that I never did. I hope a well manned temperament is one of them.
I want to thank Aydens mother for the inspiration behind this topic.

What Did You Say?

"Daddy, I smell something!"

"What...........?" " What do you smell son?"

"It smells like a skunk in the road!"

Ayden seems to have all the right words at all the wrong times. The above was recently rattled off at the top of Ayden's lungs in a crowded restaurant restroom. After a truly embarrassing second or two, I couldn't help but laugh and smile at the innocent smiling face staring back at me. What an imagination! Where in the world did he come up with that? I must admit that I had heard him say it before, but just not in the correct context. It was quite amusing and quite honest. Ayden seems to be the most honest person in the family nowadays.....no matter the pain involved.

Does my breath stink?
Oh that's right, Ayden already said it did!

Positive or negative, Ayden never lets me down. The honesty never stops. One honest comment after another and it makes you wish that everyone would really be that honest with you. Well sometimes anyway. I understand that honesty is common among his age group due to the pure state of innocence, it's just too bad that we all seem to lose this gift along the way.

The Facts Of Fatherhood

I ran across a very interesting article today regarding the importance of a father in the home. It's a cold view into how far the family has fallen. This disheartening trend seems to gain steam more and more every year.
After reading the list in the article can only wonder what can we do as a society to restore the importance of family?
Why does the trend continue to be passed along from generation to generation?
Where did it all go wrong?
Is it just something that was inevitable with the fast paced society we were bound to become?
Why does it seem that the many problems that we face in our society today can be directly related to the home environment?
As I read through the list in the article I was sicken by the shear numbers. My father was mostly absent throughout my childhood so I know firsthand the importance of having a father around. I could blame a lot of my shortcomings on my Father, but I know that at some point in time we have to be accountable for our own actions and become a free minded adult who must choose their own path. It would have been easier to have my Father around but the choices I have made and the loving support of my Mother truly has made me who I am today. Not all children are as lucky. I hope the world wakes up and realizes just how far off the mark we are and how important a family is to our children.

2006? Are you sure?

Uh.....
Excuse me......
But I just read that it was 2006. Is that right? Wasn't it just 1984 like a couple of years ago? Yeah I remember it well... The Chicago Bears had just won the Super Bowl, Michael Jackson was the best entertainer in the world (and still had the appearance of a human) ,MTV was the most entertaining network on cable, Ronald Reagan was in the White House...Mmm Yeah I remember it well. How in the world can it be 2006? Where has the time gone. Have I missed something?
Why is it that as we get older the time seems to go faster. Wouldn't it make more sense for time to slow down as we age? I guess there are a lot of things that don't make much sense if I was to really set back and think about them.
When I was Ayden's age time seemed endless. The days dragged on and on. Oh, those endless summer days.
Time seemed to speed up drastically when I graduated high school. It seems to have increased in speed every year since. A day is a blink of an eye. A year seems more like a month.
I yearn for those days that lasted forever, but I cant complain with the present and what it has to offer.