Happy 11th All Star

When they wrapped you up and put you in my arms I thought I might drop you. I was shivering like a shaved chihuahua. You was finally here and it was real. I promised you that I would always be there. You would never have to question. You would never have to wonder if I would show up or if you mattered to me at any point as long as I was breathing. I promised to protect you with anything and everything I had in me. I would screw up along the way, but I would learn. I would be the best Father I could possibility be.

I thank God for the honor of being your Father first and your buddy second. I grow more proud of you with each passing day. I love you Superstar!

Happy 11th Birthday Ayden.

10 Years

Ten short years ago I waited in great anticipation for you to come into the world. The excitement of not knowing if it would be snakes, lizards and mud pies or doll houses, tea parties and strawberry kisses was an amazing feeling. Nothing compared when I learned my fate and held you in my arms. I never wanted to put you down. I never wanted to let you down or disappoint you. You are the greatest thing that I have ever been involved with and each day that passes the pride that I have in you grows along with the love that one can not explain.

Happy Birthday Ayden, I love you!

Happy 9th Birthday Ayden!!!

Nine years ago today I got to meet my inspiration. A little guy who changed my life and the way I viewed the world. I love you Ayden, you are the best!!


Happy Birthday!!!


-Dad

"A father is a man who expects his son to be as good a man as he meant to be."

~ Frank A. Clark

No need to explain......

"Sassy Reds? That's an odd name?"
Ayden exclaims from the back seat as we drive by one of the city's more seedier gentlemen's club.
"......Yep." 
"huh....."
Dad exhales.....he dodged a bullet.

Ayden Ballin'

Fighting Love

"I love you Dad"
"I love you Son"
"I love you MORE"
"Uhh no you don't Son, I love YOU more!" Smiling
"No you dont!"
"Yes I do!"

"Let's not Fight about Love....OK" with an extended frown in a scolding type voice.

"OK..." laughing inside.

2011 And Still kickin'

Wow amazing how time flies! So much to write about and so much to do......what's new?

Ayden is doing fantastic in School. He seems to really enjoy all of his school work and has made some new friends.

So far we have went thru 4 seasons of basketball, 2 seasons of Mighty Mites, and a season of Baseball as me being his coach. Right now we are taking a long deserved break from sports. I have so many experiences to share being Aydens coach. I am kind of disappointed in myself for not posting to this blog for such a long time and passing over these times in our lives.

Life is starting to come back together for me as well. I have met a fantastic woman, my work life is rock solid and I am finally back to accomplishing some long awaited goals. 2011 looks bright from every angle and I cant complain. What a long strange trip it's been for the last 2-3 years. I look forward to a productive year once again.

1st No More!!

Here it is son....the last day of your 1st grade. I just can't believe how fast time is going. It seems like yesterday you was crawling around. I am very proud of you and what you accomplished this school year. The top 3 speller in your class, the near perfect attendence, and most important near perfect health! Great Job Son! It won't be anytime before I am watching you walk down the isle with your graduating class....let's keep enjoying the ride....what'da say?

Happy Birthday!!

Happy Seventh Birthday Ayden! I had a blast with you today! Its so hard to believe you are seven years old. My little man is growing up way too fast! I Love you Son!

Dark Part I

As I set here thinking about all the things I should be doing right now, my head is in serious need of a purge. A release of thought. A need to share all these thoughts about what it means to be happy.

I will be the first to tell you that true happiness comes from within. No other person or material object will bring true joy to your life. If Im being honest, I was not born with this thought of truth. It took awhile for me to realize it. I was born with the belief that if I done the right things, was in possession of the things I loved and enjoyed, that happiness, true happiness was a given. As I get older I realize just how off the mark that is.

So if true happiness comes from within, how does one really get to that point? Is it when they are completely satisfied with who they are and what they want out of life? Is it when they meet all the ingrained beliefs of who they think they should be? Or perhaps it's when one realizes that maybe they have the bar set just a little high and they are comfortable knowing that these goals, hopes and dreams of who they want to become might be just out of reach, but as long as they are aware of it, then they can be happy knowing who they are. They too are happy.

I know a few happy people. Truly happy could be debatable, but happiness does exist around me. People who are confident and comfortable with who they are and where they are in this journey. They are achieving their personal, professional, spiritual goals they have set for themselves. I also know a lot more people who are also reaching this pinnacle in their life but they still yearn for happiness. Not being content with where they are. Having reached the goals they have for themselves, living by their standards, yet true joy eludes them.

So where do I stand? I sit here believing that I am pretty comfortable with who I am. I strive in some form or fashion daily to improve myself in some small way. I have many goals, hopes and dreams. Some I have met, others I'm in pursuit of and others I have come to realize will remain dreams. It doesn't stop me from dreaming, it's just an awareness that some dreams might not ever be a possibility. I am comfortable with that. I am not where I want to be in life. If anyone reading this knows me at all or has followed this string of ramblings, knows my current situation is a difficult one at the present time. What gets me out of the bed in the morning is the belief that things will get better. If I stay the course then things will turn around for me. I have always considered myself a patient person. With the current challenges I face, I find myself growing more and more impatient. Yet I hold onto believing happiness comes from within. I yearn to be happy with any situation thrown my way. Sometimes I have great success, other times, not so much. But it's still in the back of my head that the next time I face the challenge that gets the best of me, I will whip it.

OK so if I am happy with who I am, aware that true happiness comes from within, and have a positive outlook at where I am, then why do I feel so miserable a majority of the time? I have a beautiful son who helps me realize how lucky I am. I have a great job that is both challenging and rewarding and is filled with potential. I have my health. So what the hell is my problem? Why do I wake up thinking that if I am genuine, honest and holding true to who I am, happiness should be an after thought? Yet as I lay my head down at night, I am faced with an emptiness of joy.

To those friends around me who are facing similar situations in their life that I have faced or are still in the midst of, I offer advice, its all about 'staying busy'. I believe that if I sit around thinking, as I have been doing all day, then that's when the depressed emptiness takes over. Regardless of being happy with me, I still have to remain busy. Does this mean that I am not truly happy with who I am? My desire to stay busy is killing me slowly and starting to take it's toll. I am at a point where I am waning from my goals, giving up a little day to day and losing focus of so many things that make me, me. Yet Im busy. Change is needed from the top down. My busy state of mind is not getting me there. A change of attitude, a change of direction, a change of what is keeping me so busy yet getting me nowhere. I have a lot of work to do.

I guess I better get busy.........

I'm baaaaaack!!!!!!!

     
“There are times when silence has the loudest voice”

Down On The Farm

The little man and the Crayon strikes again!
I just cant get enough of his works. Yeah I know..."Mr. Proud Parent" also strikes again.
Check out the feature Pig 'gettin jiggy wit it'.
Something about this picture that is unique for the little man. There is no famous "Ayden" signature. Out of many, many pictures this is the first that he hasn't signed in his unique way as part of the picture.
The first thing I asked him was "Why"?
"Well Dad the Teacher told me not to, so I signed it on the back." OK logical, the boy listened to his teacher, but it is one time I wished he would have been more like his ol' man and signed it anyway. Oh well, I love it nonetheless!

Oink, Oink!

Pigskin Camp Round 1

Ayden's first football camp was a smashing success! Two days of pure football goodness. It was a relief and very exciting to hear Ayden enjoyed every aspect so far. He got to participate in a various number of mini skill builders and didn't have a single complaint. So far so good.

I was a little disappointed that I didn't get to attend this round of camp due to work, but you can bet I will be there for Round II. Ayden's participation in Mighty Mights will hinge on the outcome of the second round of camp in July. I am more then hoping he continues to enjoy every aspect his football experience. If Mighty Mights becomes a reality in September his father is going to find it hard to contain himself with excitement!

Great Job Son!

Sluggers 1-0

Ayden's first coaches pitch game is in the books! The sluggers won by a wide margin and Ayden looked great. As a father who wants nothing more then to see his son do well, there was a little less expectations then normal.

Aydens team was up to bat first. In practice he hasn't had much swing time. The rules of this coaches pitch league is the kids get three swings from the coach pitching and two swings off a tee if needed. Ayden was batting third and I was so excited to see how he would do.

I have played ball with Ayden since he was three. Around that time came the first wiffle ball set. There is not a Dad in the world that doesn't look forward to playing ball with his son/daughter for the first time. I remember right away as soon as he was able to grasp, tossing the ball and seeing if he was able to catch at all, pitching the ball to him to see if he could hit. "Testing" him. Did I mention he was three? I guess I had the expectations that since my son was "perfect", he would come out of the womb swinging a bat, throwing a spiral, and show the hands of greatness. I had very high expectations. Of coarse we had to work on a few things for him to be able to hold a bat, catch a ball, and throw, but I am proud to say Ayden picked up things pretty quick. He seemed to have a great swing for a kid so young. Yes, im biased. Seriously though he seemed to have a great swing. He has a good arm for his age. The swing still needs some work, after all he's just six now, but overall he is showing ability. If Ayden enjoys playing and learns the fundamentals he is going to do just fine.

So Ayden steps up to the plate, coach pitches the ball and BAM....first pitch is hit for a line drive past the the second base into the outfield. I will never forget the feeling. Something so small, so insignificant, was fantastic to actually see happen. It was a sure double but the first base coach held Ayden at first. First official at bat goes for a single and a RBI. The sluggers got their six runs and it was time to switch sides. Daddy is proud!


Ayden was placed in the outfield for the first inning. Not a lot of action and the sluggers got their three outs.

Ayden had to take his three pitches and hit off the tee at his next at bat, but made contact for a line drive at the pitcher position and right in to the glove. No big deal, he showed a great swing and made contact. The coolest thing is Ayden was back on the bench with his helment off and didnt show any sign of it bothering him. From his two basketball stints so far...that is coming a long way. Ayden is VERY competitive. The sluggers once again got the six runs needed and time to switch.

Ayden was placed at first base for the remaining of the game. He made a great catch for the second out. He had three really good plays. I was not only very proud, but a little shocked.

Overall his first game was a smashing success. Ayden showed his athletic ability, showed great sportsmanship, had a blast, and got to enjoy Ice cream after the game. Well done son....well done!

Really?

Ayden had his first coaches pitch practice today with his new team. Ive been so excited to get him started and holding out that I would get to help coach the team. Well as if I should be surprised, my plans was foiled.

We arrived at practice and it was a joke. I took off early today to make sure I had him to his first practice early to help him get settled in and meet his team mates. I thought getting there at least 30 mins. early would surly do the trick. Well...no dice. The practice was scheduled to start at 5:30 per the coach. Oh what a work of art the coach is. If I was into drugs, this guy would be my man. I hate judging anyone by the way they look, but this guy is a piece of art.

I digress....we arrived to the field at 5 till 5:00. I had to take out of work early but for Ayden, not a problem. As we roll up we see about a dozen kids on the field. Hey no problem the field is open to other teams, and this was for sure another team wrapping up their scheduled practice. As we was getting our stuff together and heading to the field about three other cars pulled up. Just reinforcing the fact that our team was arriving and this team on the field was not ours. Well....no quite. Turns out Mr. Coach told some people to be there at 4:30. Some others at 5:00 and a few others 5:30. Our team was on the field and had been for about 30 min. What a joke! I have to admit I was just a little pissed. Well as the time wore on it got even better. As I've mentioned our coach is a real work of art. He had no control over getting these kids together, deciding what to do, and well the guy is just not cut out to lead anything but apparently a bong to his mouth. Again Dad is heating up by the minute. Coach couldn't even decide on a time to tell all of the parents.

Well needless to say it took all of about an hour to waste every parents time there. No order, no plan, nothing. It was a sad state of affairs. The whole ordeal was not only disappointing for Ayden, but Dad was beyond pissed by the end of it and highly disappointed that he will not be participating with anything but Aydens cheerleader. Which at the end of the day, is all good. I'm already his biggest fan, why not just sit back and enjoy the train wreak and cheer my son on?

The real kicker with all of this is that the last round of basketball we had to go thru the same type of situation. Our coach was not only showing up to our practices lit up, but to our games having to wear sunglasses to cover up his road map eyes. It's sad that they let these types of people who are supposed to be role models for the kids, with-in a hundred feet of the kids let alone coach them. I will be much more proactive from here on out and take the reins and do a little more research on what I choose to get Ayden involved in. I also plan to get my application in the day they are open to collect for prospective coaches and hopefully not only can I coach his team, but maybe become a coach the kids will not have to worry about having fun with.

The whole situation just blows my mind!
Really?

Schedule Set!

Ayden's all set for the rest of spring and all of summer!
And to be honest,
Dad is too!

Today we finalized his football schedule and DAD is PUMPED! I cant wait to see how he is going to take on football. Since I never got to play football as a kid (thanks Mom) and I love the game so much, I am chomping at the bit to see how he will do. I imagine he will love it until that first good hit...then who knows? Hopefully he loves it, but that will be his decision.

So next month starts the whirl wind of sports goodness. First is coaches pitch, then football camp. Followed by another football camp, and if Ayden enjoys them both he will start Mighty Mights in August. Hopefully another round of basketball will follow but that of course will be up to him. Looks like a busy summer ahead!

Fishing with the buddies!

Ayden and Max getting ready to enjoy a day of fishing. Max is the son of my closest friend Brent. The age difference between Max and Ayden are the same as their fathers. They seem to have made a special bond already and it's the greatest thing for the four of us to spend time together.

Ayden loves to fish! He is actually much better at it already then I ever was. I think he enjoys it more then I ever did, but I love to watch him. Of coarse he tells me what he's doing to catch the next big fish and I take it all in!

Sheesh...the boys are trying to fish! Brent and I took the time to catch up and the boys was all business.

Brent happens to love fishing and is pretty good at it. It looks like Max is going to follow in the footsteps.

The first catch of the day! Look at that whale! The boys both enjoyed catching a few fish before it was all over. The day was a great success. Nothing better then spending the day with the two sweetest kids on earth all in the company of a great friend. Im sure there will be plenty of fishing in the future for the four of us!